Things I have learned since turning 27
every moment is worthy of art
Turning 27 seems like an overwhelming feeling. Feelings of rapture and melancholy surge within me as another year goes by in this so called life. Seeing the magnificence and sorrow of human existence, I dove into an introspective conflict of continuing and ending it. The paradox of life.
As each moment goes by, I see a warped reflection of my own humanity in the black mirrors I stare into everyday. Social conventions has shaped in us that with hard work and perseverance, we can become more efficient in achieving our goals. We become robots or slaves. Goals no matter how absurd and perverse. Whether its health, wealth, or career, we believe these are the true pursuit of happiness. For some people like myself, I’ve never had the chance to discover on what would really make me happy. The goal was the pursuit on what has been pre-determined for me.
As I go through another year of hopes and possibilities, I start to live my life confided in contemplation, discovery, and finding pleasure in the journey. Just figuring it out and challenging the status quo as I go through life and its mysteries. For the past 27 years of existence, I am going to share what I have learned throughout the journey:
- Finding comfort in Solitude
This is probably the most important thing I’ve learned, finding comfort with yourself despite the need for connection. I discovered myself amidst the times of hardships when the thought of being alone was unbearable. We need to find the strength and beauty with rupture because this can help us pierce our own mysteries. So why not treat it as constructive disasters that can lead us to wonder our human existence?
“My dear,
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realised, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer” -Albert Camus-
2. Finding beauty in the mundane
Our lives are not always going to be a grand adventure worthy of social media. We spend majority of our lives spent under the process of living, that can range from eating, showering, commuting, and sleeping. These are mandatory things to preserve human life. While this may pale in comparison from backpacking in France or hiking through the mountains of Budapest, we need to find beauty in the mundane. Every moment of our lives are all worthy of art.
I found that in vulnerability lie intimacy and clarity. Whether that’s waking up in bed with a lover, brushing your teeth, or the scene of a rising sun, these are intimate moments worthy of presenting human existence. Worthy of living.
“For a moment the last sunshine fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face; her voice compelled me forward breathlessly as I listened — then the glow faded, each light deserting her with lingering regret, like children leaving a pleasant street at dusk.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald-
3. Accepting mortality
We all know death is part of human existence. It’s the ending to every beginning and the beginning to every ending. As cliche as it seems, we’re all going to part this world in one way or another. As a child, death was never a truth I had to face, I believed that I was going to live a wonderful and enriching life till 95. As time went by, reality teaches you the fragility of human life. Life can be taken away from you at any given moment. Some people that I adored and encountered either died of accidents, diseases, or time itself.
This in hand teaches me the meaninglessness and beauty of being human. Every fleeting moment that passes by can never be taken back, each moment is transient and sublime. Knowing our own mortality, it teaches us to live in the moment, to live deeply in the silences, in the mundane, and in the spaces between. More importantly, it teaches us to hope more than anything.
“Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.” -Haruki Murakami-
