Is it possible to love two women at the same time?
From Eric Rohmer’s “Chloe in the afternoon”
The contemporary society we live in about romantic relationship is the union between two individuals. These individuals go through the stages of desire, passion, and intimacy that lead to love. Resulting into a lifelong duty and companionship signifying the union as a whole.
Most of the classic and modern films exemplify this concept, from The Notebook, Titanic, Gone with the Wind, and Romeo and Juliet. Romantic love can or shall only be with one unique individual.
Growing up from an Asian and Catholic background, I have always been taught that love or romantic relationship“only” involves two person. It was conveyed to me as if it was a law and order. Anybody that goes beyond this belief is considered evil and highly immoral.
In a polygamous society, loving two people is possible, depending on how the noti on of love is perceived between each individual. Although in recent society, it is still considered to be frowned upon. One can argue that if love is entirely dependant on emotional exclusivity, how does this change if more than two people are involved? Would it be based on emotion priorities? Organising a hierarchy of importance between the subjects of love? The idea itself needs to be looked at further.
The last of Eric Rohmer’s Six Moral Tales “Chloe in the Afternoon”, centralises on a married man (Frederic) torn between the moral conflict of staying faithful to his beloved wife (Helene) and the possibility of committing infidelity towards his best friend’s former girlfriend (Chloe).
Frederic is a co-owner of a law firm in Paris. He is a smart and an educated man who loves his freedom. Being an owner, he can afford taking a break whenever he pleases and loves going for a walk in the afternoons. He has a daughter and expecting a second child with Helene. Not fully immersing into a bourgeois lifestyle, the couple lives in an apartment, which Frederic claims to be living life as students.
“Despite the crush and the noise, I never tire of plunging into the crowd. I love the crowd as I love the sea. Not to be engulfed or lost in it, but to sail on it like a solitary pirate”
While the couple is seen to be in a content and loving relationship, it can be observed that the two are acting on their roles as husband and wife rather than on a deeply connected intimacy. The interaction displayed seemed slavish and distant but never gushing. He often says to himself that he loves his wife and contemplates about it.
“Why among all the possible beauties, was it her beauty that struck me? I’m no longer sure of the answer. I’m not only less sure of my taste but I can’t recall the criteria with which I judged. What was that something?”
Ever since his marriage, he feels a sense of discontentment. A nameless void. He finds himself desiring other women randomly passing him by on the train or on the streets. The peacefulness of his marriage arouses a desire for something novel and exciting. As his desire heightened, he contemplates having a magical amulet that has the power to control and bend the will of all these women.
“I feel marriage is hemming me in, cutting me off, and I want to escape. The prospect of quiet happiness stretching indefinitely before me, depresses me. I find missing that time, not so long ago, when i too could experience the pangs of anticipation”
Frederic’s desire is soon to materialise when a free-spirited and cynical friend, Chloe, appeared suddenly in his office looking for work. She is the antithesis of Helene, direct in her thoughts and feelings, slouchy in her posture that conveys a lack of professionalism in an office, and a hipster in her faded jeans with rumpled hair. A symbolism of desire and passion.
The two started spending time with each other in the afternoons with Frederic helping Chloe in her daily endeavours, from apartment hunting, job hunting, and even retrieving her belongings in her ex-boyfriend’s house. These moments, aroused senses of adventure and excitement in Frederic’s life. Something that he never had with his family. He also admits that he finds her highly attractive and desirable, leading to the casual flirtation. Every interior impulse sneaks out in his body language through subtle gestures, hand holding, hugging, and kisses on the lips and cheeks.
Chloe’s cynicism and passion for life allow Frederic to feel and empathise, to be human, giving him the opportunity to also confide in her. A passionate embrace.
In moments of deep passion and vulnerability, the two comes close to consummating their relationship, but Frederic holds back. As a way of easing his conscience, he tells Chloe that he loves his wife, but also cares for her deeply, to the point of contemplating:
“Is it possible to love two women at once?”
The two discuss about polygamy and he believes it to be barbaric. He contemplates that if society accepts polygamy, he’ll gladly partake in it, but that’s not the case in modern society; therefore, abiding to moral codes. In the end, realising that his emotional interest was an extension of physical desires, he refuses to be with Chloe and goes back to his wife, finally confiding in her. A moral conflict he had to choose.
As an audience, one can observe that Frederic’s love for Helene is motivated by duty; whilst the love he has for Chloe is driven out of passion. Each partner evokes in him a part of his humanity. He acts differently with both of these woman and each relationship seems to compliment each other.
“I’ve never been so candid, so at ease. With most of the girls I’ve loved, I’ve played a role”
Loving two women at once is inherently possible, however it depends entirely on how the relationship was built. Love has two distinctive types, a companionship love and a passionate love. These two narratives can be sustained providing the person creates seperate establishment. This will allow for all the people involve to partake in a role fulfilling different desires. In the end, the concept is entirely dependent on the person’s moral beliefs and free will experiencing this dilemma.
